东南大学Zhao同学
普林斯顿大学机械工程博士全奖
毕达老师解析如何写出高分托福作文
发布时间：2015年07月06日 来源：毕达留学
毕达留学是一家以“录名校、做口碑”为理念的留学咨询机构，专注本科、硕士和博士等各阶段的海外名校申请。毕达注重个性化和透明化的申请服务，致力于申请者学术和职业素养的提升，帮助申请者从本质上提升竞争力并获名校录取。众多超预期的名校录取，是毕达打造以口碑传播为核心的基础。正因如此，每年都有众多学生以照片和视频形式为毕达留学公开代言。查看更多
只有深谙托福的评分规则我们才知道如何迎合考官的喜好来写高分的文章，先来看看托福写作评分细则。
官方对于独立写作的满分要求如下：
An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following:
1. Effectively addresses the topic and task
2. Is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details
3. Displays unity, progression, and coherence
4. Displays consistent facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice, and idiomaticity, though it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors.
标准解读：
要点 1: addresses the topic
在托福写作中，考生所表达的观点要和题目要求相关、一致。另外，考生所提供的例证也要切题，只有这样的例子才有说服力。
要点 2: well organized & well developed
托福满分作文的行文组织要系统，有逻辑性。 考生在提出论点之后，必须寻找相关的例证来支持和充实自己的论点。 需要强调的是，在托福考试中考生虽然可以发散地进行说理和寻找例证，但若是将自己所举的例证进行一定加工,按照由主到次、让步转折等顺序进行排列，则能更好显示出各个例证之间的逻辑关系，让举例或是说理论证的过程更有层次性。这样的文章才称得上well-organized and well-developed.
要点 3: explanations, exemplifications and details
在托福写作中，考生提出观点之后必须要发散式地进行举例或是说理论证。具体包括解释原因，举例说明以及提供其它的细节信息。
要点 4: unity, progression, and coherence
1. 论点集中(unity)--所有的论据都指向论点；
2. 逻辑通畅(progression and coherence)--不同段落之间要连接紧密、衔接过渡自然并层层推进。
想要做到以上几点，考生需要合理地谋篇布局、进行最优化的段落分配并恰当地使用逻辑连接词。
要点 5: variety
用词用句的多样性和变化性能有效地体现语言的丰富性以及使用技巧。
要点 6: appropriate word choice and idiomaticity
托福写作要求考生根据语境选择“恰当的用词”。在托福写作中，考生不需要哗众取宠的用“大词、难词”来显示词汇量。 真正的高手是用简单但精确的词语来阐述深刻的道理。
要点 7: minor errors
托福作文允许有错误存在。most一词表明一篇满分文章需要避免绝大部分的语法、用词错误。 同时这也表明个别的语法错误、用词不当以及诸如拼写，标点符号和大小写等错误不影响一篇文章得满分。 对于托福写作来说，更重要的是文章的要点明确、逻辑通畅，语言的整体高水平。
7月2日，一场腥风血雨的【毕达留学微信托福写作比赛】，先看看题目：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
What real life is about is not in books but in experience.
Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
看到这个题目，估计大家都傻眼了吧？是要逼着我们思考人生争当哲学家的节奏吗？
NO,NO,NO,我们来听听毕达教育写作老师jammy的解读：
托福中的审题其实很关键，如果审题不准，往往会导致“下笔千言，离题万里”的下场，而在读题的时候我们应该侧重关注题目中的核心词及逻辑关系，对于本题而言，核心词是What real life is about 即我们写作的时候要探讨分析这一严肃的话题，“life”—一个匪夷所思的单词，在字典里的中文意思主要是“生活、生命、人生…”生活是关于什么？生活是什么？本来这个概念就已经是很抽象的，写作的时候应设法将其具体化，与生活中的点滴关联起来，生活是关于得到和失去，是关于付出与回报，是关于亲情、友情、爱情或是关于对于人生的态度等，其中很关键的一点是要紧扣题目中的核心词，不能偏题中心；此外，我们还得关于题目中的限定词in books or in experience 在写作的时候我们还得讲上述的感受或认知与书本及经验结合起来，从比较好写的角度来看，构思的时候可以选择其中一方来分析，同时写一个让步段兼顾另一方的合理性，毕竟生活不能仅仅通过书本说经验来体会。
在切入点方面，其实我们也可以尝试“以小见大”的方法，从一个角度入手展开分析论述，如可以有个中心句——life is all about choice然后去分析论述人生中的各种艰难抉择等，也可以说 Life is a balance of work and play, family and personal time. You have to decide how to balance your life.而总结这个balance是从书本得来还是从经验而来。
最后我们来赏析一下被评为“最佳作文”的文章——作者是来自华南理工大学的黄同学
Recently an interesting question has been attached much concern to: what is real life about? Is it in books or in experience? Answers vary from one person to another. Some claim that what real life is about is not in books but in experience, while others oppose to the idea that experience has something to do with what real life is about. Actually, both experience and books are very essential resources, and both of them have relevant merits. However, to my way of thinking, what real life is about is in experience instead of books. My viewpoint is based on the following reasons.
First, real life is what we do, learn and use. Experience is the most direct resource we ever get from the real life. Among our every basic skill, every habit, even every idea came from experiences. For example, we cannot learn walking from books. When we were babies and we want to walk and explore, we had to try it and learn from experience. It is generally accepted that each and every skill develop by experience, and that’s why we all like the old saying: Practice makes perfect.
Second, real life is what we feel. We can feel our own love, happiness or even angriness from experience. Take myself as an example, I fell my parents’ love from their care. Once I got a bad cold, they got worried and tried their best to find every mentions to help me. That’s when I deeply felt my parents’ love. However, we cannot feel it from book. Although we can read others’ stories from books and try to understand what they feel. But we can only know what real life is from experience.
Admittedly, books can tell us many stories, from which we can learn what others’ lives are. In that case, we can try to imagine we were the hero of the story and imagine what they learn or what they feel. However, it’s not real life. It is a courageous fledgling a man who thinks he knows what real life in books because he misunderstands others’ lives and his real life.
To put it in a nutshell, what real life is about in not in books but in experience. Aristotle once said, life is【由于技术问题，文章的结尾段没写完，有点小可惜】
看完这篇作文，我们会发现文章的结构思路是非常清晰的，开头段明确表明自己的立场，主体部分所表达的观点也能够紧扣题目的要求，例证充分较为有力；主体部分的分析逻辑脉络很清晰，每个分论点都能对应找到相关的例子来展开分析论述；语言运用方面尽管会出现了一些语法错误例如时态及第三人称单数等，另外的小遗憾是结尾没写完，但总体的词汇句式运用非常灵活，同时小错误不影响考官的理解，在考场上一些minor errors还是可以接受的；由此可见，评分人主要看考生是如何展开论点、组织结构、并运用语言来表达自己的观点，我们绝不能为了增加文章字数而死记硬背一些冗长的段落或句子。
官方对于独立写作的满分要求如下：
An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following:
1. Effectively addresses the topic and task
2. Is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details
3. Displays unity, progression, and coherence
4. Displays consistent facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice, and idiomaticity, though it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors.
标准解读：
要点 1: addresses the topic
在托福写作中，考生所表达的观点要和题目要求相关、一致。另外，考生所提供的例证也要切题，只有这样的例子才有说服力。
要点 2: well organized & well developed
托福满分作文的行文组织要系统，有逻辑性。 考生在提出论点之后，必须寻找相关的例证来支持和充实自己的论点。 需要强调的是，在托福考试中考生虽然可以发散地进行说理和寻找例证，但若是将自己所举的例证进行一定加工,按照由主到次、让步转折等顺序进行排列，则能更好显示出各个例证之间的逻辑关系，让举例或是说理论证的过程更有层次性。这样的文章才称得上well-organized and well-developed.
要点 3: explanations, exemplifications and details
在托福写作中，考生提出观点之后必须要发散式地进行举例或是说理论证。具体包括解释原因，举例说明以及提供其它的细节信息。
要点 4: unity, progression, and coherence
1. 论点集中(unity)--所有的论据都指向论点；
2. 逻辑通畅(progression and coherence)--不同段落之间要连接紧密、衔接过渡自然并层层推进。
想要做到以上几点，考生需要合理地谋篇布局、进行最优化的段落分配并恰当地使用逻辑连接词。
要点 5: variety
用词用句的多样性和变化性能有效地体现语言的丰富性以及使用技巧。
要点 6: appropriate word choice and idiomaticity
托福写作要求考生根据语境选择“恰当的用词”。在托福写作中，考生不需要哗众取宠的用“大词、难词”来显示词汇量。 真正的高手是用简单但精确的词语来阐述深刻的道理。
要点 7: minor errors
托福作文允许有错误存在。most一词表明一篇满分文章需要避免绝大部分的语法、用词错误。 同时这也表明个别的语法错误、用词不当以及诸如拼写，标点符号和大小写等错误不影响一篇文章得满分。 对于托福写作来说，更重要的是文章的要点明确、逻辑通畅，语言的整体高水平。
7月2日，一场腥风血雨的【毕达留学微信托福写作比赛】，先看看题目：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
What real life is about is not in books but in experience.
Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
看到这个题目，估计大家都傻眼了吧？是要逼着我们思考人生争当哲学家的节奏吗？
NO,NO,NO,我们来听听毕达教育写作老师jammy的解读：
托福中的审题其实很关键，如果审题不准，往往会导致“下笔千言，离题万里”的下场，而在读题的时候我们应该侧重关注题目中的核心词及逻辑关系，对于本题而言，核心词是What real life is about 即我们写作的时候要探讨分析这一严肃的话题，“life”—一个匪夷所思的单词，在字典里的中文意思主要是“生活、生命、人生…”生活是关于什么？生活是什么？本来这个概念就已经是很抽象的，写作的时候应设法将其具体化，与生活中的点滴关联起来，生活是关于得到和失去，是关于付出与回报，是关于亲情、友情、爱情或是关于对于人生的态度等，其中很关键的一点是要紧扣题目中的核心词，不能偏题中心；此外，我们还得关于题目中的限定词in books or in experience 在写作的时候我们还得讲上述的感受或认知与书本及经验结合起来，从比较好写的角度来看，构思的时候可以选择其中一方来分析，同时写一个让步段兼顾另一方的合理性，毕竟生活不能仅仅通过书本说经验来体会。
在切入点方面，其实我们也可以尝试“以小见大”的方法，从一个角度入手展开分析论述，如可以有个中心句——life is all about choice然后去分析论述人生中的各种艰难抉择等，也可以说 Life is a balance of work and play, family and personal time. You have to decide how to balance your life.而总结这个balance是从书本得来还是从经验而来。
最后我们来赏析一下被评为“最佳作文”的文章——作者是来自华南理工大学的黄同学
Recently an interesting question has been attached much concern to: what is real life about? Is it in books or in experience? Answers vary from one person to another. Some claim that what real life is about is not in books but in experience, while others oppose to the idea that experience has something to do with what real life is about. Actually, both experience and books are very essential resources, and both of them have relevant merits. However, to my way of thinking, what real life is about is in experience instead of books. My viewpoint is based on the following reasons.
First, real life is what we do, learn and use. Experience is the most direct resource we ever get from the real life. Among our every basic skill, every habit, even every idea came from experiences. For example, we cannot learn walking from books. When we were babies and we want to walk and explore, we had to try it and learn from experience. It is generally accepted that each and every skill develop by experience, and that’s why we all like the old saying: Practice makes perfect.
Second, real life is what we feel. We can feel our own love, happiness or even angriness from experience. Take myself as an example, I fell my parents’ love from their care. Once I got a bad cold, they got worried and tried their best to find every mentions to help me. That’s when I deeply felt my parents’ love. However, we cannot feel it from book. Although we can read others’ stories from books and try to understand what they feel. But we can only know what real life is from experience.
Admittedly, books can tell us many stories, from which we can learn what others’ lives are. In that case, we can try to imagine we were the hero of the story and imagine what they learn or what they feel. However, it’s not real life. It is a courageous fledgling a man who thinks he knows what real life in books because he misunderstands others’ lives and his real life.
To put it in a nutshell, what real life is about in not in books but in experience. Aristotle once said, life is【由于技术问题，文章的结尾段没写完，有点小可惜】
看完这篇作文，我们会发现文章的结构思路是非常清晰的，开头段明确表明自己的立场，主体部分所表达的观点也能够紧扣题目的要求，例证充分较为有力；主体部分的分析逻辑脉络很清晰，每个分论点都能对应找到相关的例子来展开分析论述；语言运用方面尽管会出现了一些语法错误例如时态及第三人称单数等，另外的小遗憾是结尾没写完，但总体的词汇句式运用非常灵活，同时小错误不影响考官的理解，在考场上一些minor errors还是可以接受的；由此可见，评分人主要看考生是如何展开论点、组织结构、并运用语言来表达自己的观点，我们绝不能为了增加文章字数而死记硬背一些冗长的段落或句子。
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