美国杜克大学申请Common App Supplement Essay点评

发布时间:2014年07月10日 来源:毕达留学
毕达留学是一家以“录名校,做口碑”为理念的留学咨询机构,公司整体服务实力位居全国前三;据第三方统计,从2011年到2016年,以照片及视频为毕达留学公开代言的客户数量,连续六年居于首位。查看更多

 

  杜克大学是使用common application申请系统的美国名校之一,除了common application的共同论文之外,杜克大学还在supplement部门要求申请者另写一篇essay,题目为:

  if you are applying to trinity college of arts and sciences, please discuss why you consider duke a good match for you. is there something in particular at duke that attracts you? please limit your response to one or two paragraphs.

  如果你正在申请三一文理学院,请就你为什么认为杜克大学对你来说是一个好选择做一下讨论。杜克大学有某点特别的地方吸引着你吗?请将你的回答限制在1-2段篇幅。

  这个问题在common application supplement essay中比较有代表性,实际上,招生官就是想知道是学校的哪一点让你产生了兴趣。那么,这样的一篇essay应该怎么写呢?

  下面,毕达留学指南小编先为大家展示一篇杜克大学common application supplement essay,在此举例此篇essay并非是因为他写的好,而恰恰是因为,该同学犯了很多申请者在写common application supplement essay时的常犯错误:

  i believe the trinity college of arts and sciences at duke is an excellent match for me. i believe college should not be merely a gateway to the work force; it should educate the student in a variety of subjects and prepare him or her for the range of challenges and opportunities that lie ahead in life. i have always been a curious person and enjoy reading all kinds of literature and nonfiction. in high school i excelled in history, english, ap psychology, and other liberal arts subjects. i have not yet decided on a major, but when i do, it will almost certainly be in the liberal arts, such as history or political science. i know that trinity college is very strong in these areas. but regardless of my major, i want to receive a broad education that spans a variety of areas in the liberal arts, so that i will graduate as not only a viable job prospect, but also as a well-rounded and learned adult who can make diverse and valuable contributions to my community. i believe duke’s trinity college will help me grow and become that kind of person.

  杜克大学common application supplement essay点评:

  the sample supplemental essay for duke is typical of what an admissions office frequently encounters. at first glance, the essay may seem just fine. the grammar and mechanics are solid, and the writer clearly wants to expand his or her education and become a well-rounded person.

  but think about what the prompt is actually asking: "discuss why you consider duke a good match for you. is there something in particular at duke that attracts you?"

  the assignment here is not to describe why you want to go to college. the admissions office is asking you to explain why you want to go to duke. a good response, then, must discuss specific aspects of duke that appeal to the applicant. the sample essay fails to do so.

  think about what the student says about duke: the school will "educate the student in a variety of subjects" and present a "range of challenges and opportunities." the applicant wants a "broad education that spans a variety of areas." the student wants to be "well-rounded" and to "grow."

  these are all worthwhile goals, but they dont say anything that is unique to duke. any comprehensive university offers a variety of subjects and helps students to grow.

  as you write your supplemental essay, take what i call the "global replace test." if you can take your essay and substitute the name of one school for another, then you have failed to address the essay prompt adequately. here, for example, we could replace "dukes trinity college" with "the university of maryland" or "stanford" or "ohio state." nothing in the essay is actually about duke.

  in short, the essay is filled with vague, generic language. the author demonstrates no specific knowledge of duke and no clear desire actually to attend duke. the student who wrote this supplemental essay probably hurt his or her application more than helped it.

  通过以上这篇essay的举例及点评,小编希望以后申请杜克大学的同学在写学校common application supplement部分的essay时,不要再犯与这位同学相同的错误了。

 

分享到:
  • 微信平台
  • 资料下载
  • 视频实录