斯坦福大学申请Essay范文欣赏
斯坦福大学essay题目:
virtually all of stanfords undergraduates live on campus. write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.(characters available 2000)
斯坦福大学essay范文:
greetings fellow stanfor admit. what follows is the mandatory letter per the request of the satnford admission ofifices. personally, i find the concept of writing to someone before you’ve gotten a chance to meet down with them a bit ridiculous, but what else do you expect from the most prestigious university in the world. i mean, isn’t writing letters completely antiquated anyway? nevertheless, these are the three things that you should know about me
1. first thing you need to know is that i stay up late, really late. the main cause of this is, as you might have guessed, the internet. there is just too much interesting, yet completely impractical, knowledge on the internet to ever get more than 6 hours of sleep. one night it migh be watching a marathon of ted talks videos and the next it might be reading the wikipedia page for mongolian cuisine. i simply love so much of the obscurity presented in the world and the internet makes it all the more accessible
2. there is nothing i enjoy more than a good spirited debate. that being said, there is nothing that disappoints me more than someone who is unopinionated, as a stanford admit i will assume that you do not fit that desciption. regardless of how insignificant the topic, i will challenge even the slightest difference in opinion. i do this for two reasons; primarily because i am always right, but also because i love the challenge of being able to back up and reaffirm the beliefs i hold.
3. lastly, i am randomly stricken with a case of spontenaeity about once a month. most of the time i am a fairly orderly person that likes to follow a loosely structured schedule, but about once a week i am suddenly compelled by irrationality. this affliction has landed me with a three day suspension for attempting to streak at my highschool’s football game, but it has also given me some of the memories i value the most. so if you are a vey orderly person we will get along six of the seven days of the week.
i have absolutely no idea what you might be thinking about me after reading this, but i can assure you with absolute uncertainty that your initial impression is absolutely probably right.
斯坦福大学essay范文网友点评:
i love it! great work,hey.
at no point was i rolling on the floor with laughter, but i understood your humor, and i think its a good addition to the essay.
however, i am a little worried about you saying you always right. why not add some witty statements in parenthesis to indicate that this "i am always right" statement is just a joke. not too imply that you come off as cocky, but it helps to stay on the safe side.
your essay has a good development, thus, i feel that your conclusion can be stronger and more memorable(just to seal the deal)
by request, i did ignore any grammar mistakes, but there were a few mistakes here and there, nothing heavy, but enough to anger stanford.
"most prestigious..." you risk sounding like someone who is only interested in stanford because of its name, so how about, "the most intriguing/riveting/revolutionary..."
just use anything that will make it clear that for you stanford, is more than just a big name. it is your future home, after all!